The Conversation Party

 A friend of mine hosted a Conversation Party at her place in Alexandria, VA based on the book The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships by New York Times Bestselling author Hill Harper.

About the Book

Only 34% of African- American children today are raised in two-parent households, a sharp contrast to 1966, when 85% of black children were raised by two parents. In provocative but heartfelt words, Hill Harper takes on these urgent challenges, bringing a variety of issues out of the shadows. In The Conversation, Harper speaks to women and men with clear-eyed perspective, covering topics such as:

• The roots of the breakdown in the black family
• The myth that there are no mature, single, black male professionals
• What women can do to alleviate the “heaviness” they sometimes attach to dating
• What men can do to break the cycle of being a player
• The difference between sex and intimacy
• Bridging the communication gap
• Self-worth and net worth, and why you should never settle for an unworthy partner

About the author

Hill Harper is the author of the bestselling Letters to a Young Brother, which won two NAACP awards and was named a Best Book for Young Adults by the American Library Association in 2007, and the New York Times Bestseller Letters to a Young Sister which also won a NAACP award in 2008. He stars in CSI:NY and holds degrees from Brown, Harvard and the Kennedy School of Government.  He lives in Los Angeles

The Conversation:

A diverse group of 9 attractive, Black women gathered on a Sunday evening to discuss the book. Here’s a breakdown of the group: All HBCU alums, ranging ages 23-28, and successfully employed in various industries (Government, Healthcare, Consulting, Education, and Public Relations). Out of 9 women, 0-married,1- engaged, 1-in a serious relationship, and 7-actively dating. All of us agreed the book had some valid points. During our conversation we discussed our likes and dislikes about the book, past and current relationship issues, and dating experiences. Of course everyone had extremely unique experiences and during the conversation I took some mental notes:

• Just because it didn’t work for one person, doesn’t mean it won’t work for you…no two people are treated alike.
• Women read relationship books to figure out men instead of actually talking to a man
• Everyone is different…your past experiences do affect your outlook towards life and relationships.
• It is quite possible that negative relationships may be due to you and not the man.
• Negative attitudes due to failed relationships cause some women to become cynical
• You can go on alot of dates and still be lonely
• You can be in a relationship but emotionally checked out
• Black people don’t know how to “date”
• Dating can tell you more about yourself than it does about the people you date
• Relationships require effort and sacrifice
• Successful relationships aren’t successful overnight
• If you’re going to advertise you might as well work on the billboard
• Be open to try new things
• Be who you want to attract
• There are no one size fits all rules to dating
• GOD is the only one to trust for a relationship
• Be thankful for my experiences because they have made me who I am. I can only be me and now that I understand who I am I am striving towards being the best me

Hopefully someone else will host another “Conversation Party” an invite the men…interesting converation and arguments are bound to happen.

Have you been to a Converation Party? Planning on hosting one? Share your thoughts…

Related posts:

1. Why are successful Black women still single?
2. Successful, Black, and Lonely
3. Love Lockdown: Pay It Forward