This week I heard all sorts of disturbing news from those around me. In the midst of everything I deal with on a daily basis I still have peace and that alone is enough to be thankful for. While none of the negative situations directly affected me, I still felt like people were losing the battle not only in their minds, but also in the realm of their mouths. I heard nothing but negativity. I was reminded of this quote posted on the Total Life Prosperity Blog Facebook Fan Page:

“A mind ill with negative attitudes is more dangerous than a sick body, for its sickness is always contagious. Don’t associate with those who are afflicted with the mental sickness of constant negative thinking.”

Soon after my iPod was on shuffle and played Donald Lawrence “I Speak Life”. The song that reminded me how powerful it is to speak positive over my life and the lives of others.  We all need encouraging and this song did it for me!

Remember death and life are in the power of your tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21) I’m off to St. Louis for my best friend’s wedding!

Have a great weekend!

Related posts:

1. Faith Friday: the 13th edition
2. Faith Friday: RAISE UP
3. Faith Friday:Faith & Relationships

This week I want to encourage every reader on their journey towards Total Life Prosperity. We are all believing and trusting God for something…whether it be new opportunties, jobs, restored relationships, companionship, better finances, health, etc. As a Christian I know iron sharpens iron so hopefully someone will be encouraged this Friday. In a previous post I highlighted a story about Pastor Issac Pitre’s divorce and how God reconciled his marriage after 6 years to his ex-wife Denisha Pitre. I received alot of offline feedback and questions ranging from: Why did they get a divorce? What do you think about pastors preaching about marriage yet they are divorced? Why did they get back together? How did it happen? etc. Honestly, I don’t care to know the specific details. The how’s, whys, and my opinion surely doesn’t matter…the only thing that I care about is God getting the glory now that their relationship has been restored. Stories like this rarely get told. Since this blog prides itself on promoting wholeness, I will continue to promote the goodness of God in my life and in the lives of others. The couple recently sat down with DayStar and answered some more questions about their divorce and why they decided to remarry.

Watch their video testimony!

I encourage everyone to listen to his sermon: It’s Not Your Faith, It’s Your Fight . This sermon blessed me tremendously and I’m sure it will do the same for you.

Have a great weekend!

Related posts:

1. Love Lockdown: MUST READ For Relationships
2. Love Lockdown: Love & Remarriage
3. Faith Friday: the 13th edition

It’s been awhile since the last Faith Friday post but I’ve been faced with some tough decisions that require an extreme amount of faith. (I’ll go into further detail in another post) But this quote by Ralph Marston really spoke to me this week.

And it just so happens right after seeing this quote, someone emailed me a relevant quote by Mark Twain. I tweeted :

Don’t let anything hold you back!

*Don’t forget the FAB Friday Giveaway ends TONIGHT at 11:59 pm EST! Good luck and have a great weekend!

Related posts:

1. Faith Friday: Got Faith?
2. Faith Friday:Faith & Relationships
3. Faith Friday: the 13th edition

This morning a friend shared a must read facebook note For the Married, Thinking about Marriage, and the Divorced. I’m not married but one day I plan to get married and after reading this note there was no way I could NOT post it!

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

 On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy to  have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

Related posts:

1. Love Lockdown: Love & Remarriage
2. 25 things learned by 25 on: God, Love, Relationships & Life
3. Love Lockdown: How to Date and Stay Saved + GIVEAWAY!

Its funny how I can appreciate the wisdom of my mother now at 27 vs. at 17.  All throughout high school and college she preached choices and consequences…so much that I quickly grew tired of it. I was not trying to hear that mess all the time! While I wasn’t a complete wild child, looking back I could have made better choices for myself. As of lately I’ve been dealing with some self- induced “difficulties” as well as others that are completely out of my control. Since this blog prides itself on promoting wholeness in every area of life, I’ll keep those ”issues” private without complaining, and share an encouraging list I stumbled across: 10 Reasons to Appreciate Difficulties.

Here are my top 3 picks:

1. Difficulties often force us to change in ways that we never would otherwise. When we are put in situations that make us uncomfortable we see the need for a change in our own actions, attitudes and thinking. (If we are looking to grow, otherwise all we see is how other people need to change to make us comfortable!)
2. Each time that you successfully overcome a difficulty you will have more confidence to successfully overcome the next challenge that life throws your way. You will become stronger each time and each event of personal growth through these challenges will build on each other to make you stronger and stronger, more and more confident!
3. You can inspire and encourage others towards personal growth and development! Others can be inspired by you in many ways, whether they are watching you from the sidelines or whether you share with them how you overcame a difficulty when they are going through a similar trial.

This list encouraged me and reminded me of these scriptures:

Better is the end of a thing than the beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud  (Ecclesiastes 7: 8 )

Cast not away your confidence which has a great recompense of reward. For yoy have need of patience that after you have don’t the will of God you might receive the promise.  (Hebrews 10:35-37)

Count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of our faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work. that you may be perfect and entire wanting nothing  (James 1:2-4)

Do not get weary in well doing, for in due season will shall reap if we faint not  (Galatians 6:9)

Related posts:

1. 25 things learned by 25 on: God, Love, Relationships & Life
2. Currently Reading (AGAIN): Your Life Follows Your Words
3. Case of the Wants

Every week there seems to be some media analysis concerning Black Women. Last week there was an article The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely  that firmly suggests Black women to abandon Black churches and focus more on themselves. According to the author Deborrah Cooper, Black churches are the true reason there are so many single, never married Black women in the United States. I know opinions are like a$$holes so everyone has them but this has got to be THE dumbest thing I ever read (if I can say that and still be Christ-like) With over 13,000 views people obviously want to read or laugh at her claims.

First and foremost, there should be no such thing as a “Black church”. If the author was going to make such a bold statement about spiritual leaders falsely leading women, why was the focus on Black churches and Black women? I could respect her opinion more if it was about the business of Church and women and not an attack on Black. I don’t understand how we speak out against injustice and scream equality but yet we publicly tear each other down and cause division amongst ourselves with meaningless opinions from uneducated nobody’s who don’t represent the Black race in a positive light (ie. Slim Thug) Now that Blacks have an outlet why must we focus on race so much? You don’t see Washington Post articles or Nightline specials about Hispanic or Asian women?  I’m extremely fed up with all this nonsense about single, lonely Black women. What about the other single women that walk this earth? Why are we the target? Why does everyone care to know what’s going on in Black women’s relationships? 

In her article she makes strong (and mostly false) accusations against Black churches, pastors, and single Christians. Her generalized statements can be summarized to say, your faith shouldn’t be in God for anything. According to her:

“If you are a single Black woman attending a traditional Black church, you will be surrounded by sexually frustrated single women who feel guilty and confused about their physical desires and emotional hungers. You will be told that it is your responsibility to uplift the Black man and be a “helpmeet” to him. You will be told that your sexuality and sensuality must be contained or you lose value as a woman. You will also be told that it is your job to make Black men the men they need to be.”

“My suggestion is that you get off your knees, stop paying so much attention to what your Pastor says and open your eyes to the world around you. There are millions of really great guys out here that would love you to the depths of your soul and stand by you. There are many single men that will happily honor your spirit and desire to leave your mark on the world. However, he may not EVER set foot in a church, read the Bible or even pray; and he certainly may not be Black.”

“Going to church makes you a sheep, blindly following the mandates of a small group of men you have placed in your life in a position of power. Going to church makes you malleable and predictable, and narrows your thinking and thus limits your options.”

I totally disagree! You attend church for reproof, correction, encouragement, exhortation, and most importantly for collective worship. {Scripture Reference} Would she call her “potential clients” blind sheep if they sought the counsel of a so-called “dating expert” like herself? (I doubt it)  She also claims that the Black men that Black women want can’t be found in church. Without a doubt she classifies 98% of the men that attend church into 1 of 4 categories:  A loser working a 12-step program, openly or closeted gay man, opportunistic player on the prowl, or an elderly reformed player. Straight off the dome without thinking, I know of 5 men who attend church regularly and none of these men fall into none of her ridiculous categories. Next she claims :

“In most Black churches marriage is held up as the ideal state of existence; women that remain single are deemed to have some major flaw in attitude or ability. Thus, no single woman in the church wants to remain single because women are expected to marry and to bear children. For sistahs in the church, the pressure from family and fellow church members to marry can be so intense it may motivate her to make an fear-based decision to marry someone totally inappropriate. Such choices are made out of sheer desperation to avoid being single.”

Uh, where has she been hiding? Since she is the so-called “expert” of 17 years… she should know the pressure to marry and have children exist in AND outside of the church regardless to if you are religious or not. Marriage is a part of life which let me re-iterate has biblical foundations. ..For this reason man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife.(Genesis 2:24)  I believe marriage was solely intended for God’s children, not unbelievers. What I don’t understand is why do people like her, unbelievers (and homosexuals) want to partake in such a sacred ceremony, and vow to marriage before a God they do not know or worship?

This kind of nonsense is what keeps women so messed up! She admits not going to church so what gives her the right to make claims against a place she doesn’t attend? I question what type of church she attended previously because I don’t hear these sorts of things at the “Black” churches I’ve attended. Did she ever ask herself if a Christian woman would even want a man that doesn’t read the Bible or pray? As a Christian woman I wouldn’t and I think its safe to say that no real Christian would.  The relationship issue that women face has much more to do with race. Man is off! PERIOD! And satan has blinded her, along with millions more. I didn’t bother to read the 100+ comments but I had to post this because I wanted to counter her nonsense with a faith-based opinion. If you care, click  HERE to read what other people are saying.

Related posts:

1. Why are successful Black women still single?
2. Love Lockdown: Should you marry outside your faith?
3. Love Lockdown: Marked Reserved!

Your Life Follows Your Words by Darlene Bishop

I read this book for the first time during my senior year of undergrad. At the time I had no idea how “off” my life was and it was partially attributed to the negative things I was constantly speaking about myself, my life, and different life circumstances. Based on the foundational principle of speaking a thing and believing that your life will follow the words you speak (good or bad) this book completely changed my perspective on life. [Scripture reference Job 22: 28]

Unlike a traditional self help book, that only focuses on the good, Darlene uncandidly shares how God healed her from breast cancer. Her testimony is amazing! She also shares a powerful acroynm received from God:

“B.E.L.I.E.V.E.” - “Because Emmanuel Lives, I Expect Victory Every time.”

I decided to re-visit the book on my way back from Atlanta last weekend. My faith has been re-energized! Sometimes you have to encourage yourself and this book has been very encouraging for me. I highly recommend it!

You can purchase the book Your Life Follows Your Words on her website for $15

Related posts:

1. From Test to Testimony
2. Words of Wisdom
3. Must Read: The Divine DNA

The Black Weblog Awards was founded in 2005 to give recognition to Black bloggers (and those of the African diaspora) which were largely overlooked by other Internet award events online. What started out as a barely-known event has now grown into an international showcase. With participants from over 90 countries, the Black Weblog Awards stands out as one of the most widespread Internet award events for Black bloggers. To date, the Black Weblog Awards has recognized nearly 180 blogs in over 30 categories. The Awards has also been featured in several mainstream and online media outlets, including NPR, CNN, and others. Winners of the Black Weblog Awards have also went on to appear in other media outlets, like MSNBC, the Huffington Post, BET, and many others.

Nominations will run from June 1 – July 25th. Voting will occur the whole month of August, and the winners will be announced on September 1.

I’m asking all my faithful readers for their continued support!

Nominate TotalLifeProsperityBlog.com for the 2010 Black Weblog Awards

Go to the Black Weblog Awards website blackweblogawards.com & click on the “Enter Today!” button at the top of every page.

If you’re on Facebook, go facebook.com/blackweblogawards & click on the bit.ly link right under the profile picture on the page.

If you are on Twitter, go to www.twitter.com/blkweblogawards & click on the bit.ly link in the Bio.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT AS I JOURNEY TOWARDS TOTAL LIFE PROSPERITY!

Related posts:

1. TotalLifeProsperityBlog.com is Blogs Her Color featured Daily Color of Choice!
2. Love Lockdown: Black Churches Are Why Black Women Are Single
3. Why are successful Black women still single?

I came across some interesting pictures from a fashion blog.  Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

iDig these!

Have a great weekend!

Related posts:

1. Faith Friday: What’s Holding You Back?
2. Words of Wisdom
3. Faith Friday:Faith & Relationships

Every other day there’s news about some couple getting engaged or married while another is headed for divorce.

Here are  some headlines from recent weeks:

Real Housewife of Atlanta NeNe is Filing for Divorce

Recently Divorced Swizz Beatz confirms new engagement to Alicia Keys

Former NBA player and Real Housewife DeShawn Snow to divorce

Sandra Bullock to divorce from Jesse James

While celebrity marriages bring on tons of complexities that don’t exist in ”normal” marriages, these headlines suggest if a marriage doesn’t work you can simply end it with a divorce. That shouldn’t be the case. The vow before God is until death do us part. I expect marriage to be hard for non-believers but statistics have shown that Christian marriages are just as likely to end in divorce as non-Christian ones. But there’s GOOD NEWS for Christians and non-believers alike…

God is a God of reconciliation

A great example of God’s love is my distant pastor Isaac Pitre and his wife, Denisha of Christ Nations Churchin Texarkana, Texas. They firmly believe that God wants to restore all marriages and they are living witnesses!  Charisma Magazine recently spoke with the pair, who remarried each other six years after their 2003 divorce.

Check out the interview

Charisma: After 10 years of being married, what led to your divorce?

Isaac Pitre: It was basically just not understanding that my ministry was really to be at home and to [Denisha] as much as it was to the church and the world.

Charisma: What caused the two of you to reconcile your relationship?

Isaac: I had to accept personal responsibility for what I did and what I caused, and that it wasn’t the devil. It was my own pride and selfishness and neglect of really honoring and loving her. It took me awhile to come to that conclusion, but when I did, I immediately knew that our relationship could come back together. If I helped tear it up, then I could help fix it.

Denisha Pitre:  Immediately during the separation I realized that this was not the will of God, so I … tried to reconcile with Isaac. After a few years of realizing that the relationship was not going to be reconciled, I just started to pray … for soberness of mind. I continued to pray for myself and that God would just cleanse me and make me whole.

Charisma: What happened next?

Isaac: The night God broke through to me was the same night I picked up the phone. I went after Denisha and told her what the Lord had showed me—that I was wrong and it wasn’t her. It wasn’t about the ministry. It was my arrogance and my pride, and I wanted her back.

Charisma: Denisha, what were you thinking at that point?

Denisha: When he called, I just didn’t trust it because I thought there was a hidden agenda. But the faith that was built through [the previous year’s trials] helped me to accept him calling and accept that what he said was true.

Charisma: What happened after you decided that you were going to reconcile?

Isaac:We dated for six months, just to make sure we were really transformed. God had really started working on us, and Denisha wanted to make sure I was this new and improved Isaac, and I wanted to make sure she was the new and improved Denisha. After the end of that, I think another month and a half we were married.

Charisma: What would you tell someone who is currently going through a divorce or is contemplating getting one?

Isaac: First of all, everyone should understand that God hates divorce. Even though God forgives, divorce outside the groundworks of the Bible is wrong. The next thing is to understand that if there is a possibility for reconciliation, meaning the other person is not remarried, instead of asking God for someone else, ask God to fix the marriage you had. If the man is not fixed and the woman is not fixed, no matter who you remarry, you’re going to have the same issues.

Charisma: Pastor, do you have any specific advice for husbands? Isaac: Yes I do, and it is simply Ephesians chapter 5, that we are to love our wives as Christ loves the church. First Corinthians 13 says that we can have power to understand mysteries; we can preach with deep revelation, and we can have faith to move mountains, but the Bible says that if we have not love then we are nothing. That became very real to me.

Charisma: And how about you, Denisha—any advice for wives?

Denisha: For all wives, but especially for pastors’ wives, you should learn not to be a clone of what you think a pastor’s wife should be. I urge women to look inward and discover who they are. Focus on developing that. Everything you need for your spouse is wrapped up in who you really are.

Charisma: How do you now view your experiences?

Denisha: One of the greatest things I see in retrospect is that staying together is really one of the easiest things to do. You simply love each other, be humble and put God first. If you’re sincere with who you are in Christ, then you don’t have all those flaws and pride that cause separation. To actually stay in the relationship … is one of the easiest things to do.

Isaac: We give glory to God for our reconciliation … but instead of saying that God put us back together, we like to say that we allowed God to put us back together. God is trying to fix every marriage in every home, but He’s often not allowed to [mend relationships] because people don’t yield to Him. He is either trying to put every home back together or He is trying to keep every home from falling apart. It’s not a question of what God can and cannot do; it’s a question of what God is allowed to do.

You can listen to the interview in full at Charisma Magazine

Related posts:

1. Love Lockdown: MUST READ For Relationships
2. Love Lockdown: Should you marry outside your faith?
3. Love Lockdown: How to Date and Stay Saved + GIVEAWAY!